Cutting the Cord Page 19

  ‘If he kept you, did he keep James, too? Do you have any brothers?’ Minette continues.

  Amira is finding it hard to speak and when she does her voice is choked. ‘I have four,’ she replies. ‘But none of them are the same age as me, and I remember being separated from my birth brother. I was crying for him, for my mother. I remember that.’

  ‘Why would he keep you and not your brother?’ Minette asks in a downcast voice.

  Authenticity. He picked her for Authenticity. But what did he do with James?

  ‘Did James like bananas?’ Amira asks.

  Instantly Minette throws her hands up to her lips. ‘Yes, he loved them!’

  ‘That’s it, we’re going to the police,’ Jack says.

  Amira is unable to look at him directly. She’s feeling like vomiting.

  ‘The authorities could talk to David … Henry,’ Minette says. ‘They might be able to find out about James.’

  Amira’s eyes twitch from Minette to Jack. She should allow them to go to the authorities, hand them the telephone or drive them to the nearest police station. But she can only stare at the floor. She doesn’t know what to say.

  Jack pushes aside his tea and grabs a chocolate biscuit, downs it in two bites before reaching for another. ‘You should both get a DNA test done …’ he begins.

  Her blueprint in the hands of the authorities?

  ‘I’ll have a look later on the internet and see how it’s done,’ Jack says, selecting another biscuit.

  The way Minette keeps staring at her is unnerving. ‘You are so beautiful. Really beautiful. But you know what? I don’t need a test to tell me you are my daughter.’

  Amira brings a shaky hand to her forehead. She is fighting back tears. Tell them. She needs to tell them everything. Now.

  ‘Did you grow up with a mother?’ Minette asks her gently.

  ‘Yes,’ Amira replies.

  ‘I see,’ Minette says.

  Silence lay between them. Jack breaks it.

  ‘Our garage is filled with presents,’ he says. ‘For twenty years, she’s been buying those kids birthday and Christmas gifts.’

  Amira can’t help raising her eyebrows. Minette needs therapy. She isn’t the only one.

  ‘She still has all their baby things that she brought over from her mum’s place. Has a room here set up with their belongings.’

  Minette blushes. ‘Would you like me to show you?’

  Amira isn’t sure, but she doesn’t want to be rude.

  They go down the corridor, past the laundry, a bathroom, a toy room, their bedroom, a spare. At the very end, they come to a closed door, with a latch up high. Minette pulls it. ‘So the children I look after don’t come in,’ she says.

  Inside the room, the venetian blinds have been opened but the light that streams through is dim. The walls are painted a lemon yellow, and there is a strip of wallpaper with a repeated pattern of elephants, giraffes, turtles and lions.

  ‘Like the room at Mum’s,’ Minette says. ‘I can’t bring myself to change it.’ There are two cots where once, many years ago, two babies slept side by side. She points at the one with pink linen. ‘This was Sofie’s cot.’

  Amira stares at the cot. She can feel the emptiness of all the years gone by, the stillness of the air, the beds with nothing to fill them. Why has she come into the room? Is it just to be polite? Maybe. Or does she hope to claim some part of her lost self? Well, that’s wishful thinking.

  There are shadows under Minette’s eyes she hasn’t noticed before; Minette’s pink cheeks have grown sallow.

  ‘I dust it with the vacuum cleaner, but I can’t wash it,’ she said. Then she crumples and sobs. Jack steps towards her.

  Amira looks away.

  ‘They even accused me …’ Minette splutters. ‘They accused me of killing them. Burying their bodies somewhere.’ She takes a tissue from her sleeve again and wipes her eyes and nose.

  Now, Amira. Tell her now. Her mouth is dry, her tongue thick and lethargic. She can’t speak, though she should. She doesn’t want to tell her mother – who has waited decades to see her – that she is a monster.

  She is her little Sofie. Can’t she just be that?

  18

  21 JUNE

  No, of course she can’t just be little Sofie; she has wasted enough time.

  ‘I have something I must tell you. It can’t wait any longer.’

  When they sit down on the couch she starts to pace the room, and begins to have doubts … perhaps she should wait until a DNA test is done? She scratches her throat … Oh, who is she kidding?

  ‘What is it?’ Minette asks.

  ‘There’s more to know. About Henry. About me.’

  ‘Yes?’ Jack asks. ‘Go on.’

  ‘Jack, give the poor girl a chance,’ Minette responds. She rises from the couch and clasps Amira’s hands as though closing any distance between them. Her touch is warm. Suddenly Amira is filled with a terrible longing.

  ‘There’s something I need to tell you, and I’ll understand if afterwards you don’t want me to be your daughter.’ Amira gazes at Minette for several seconds. Her relentless blue eyes don’t blink.

  Amira Knox. Killer.

  Minette doesn’t relinquish her hands. Jack watches them both intently.

  ‘I’ve told you that David may actually be my adoptive father, Henry. I believe he probably kidnapped me and brought me to Kangaroo Valley, where he and my mother, Edith, adopted me somehow. They also had four other adopted children.’

  ‘You said that you didn’t think James was with you?’ Minette says.

  Amira tries to breathe steadily. ‘I don’t know for sure. Everything is so confusing. One of the boys there – Kolya – he might be my twin brother. When we were young people used to comment that we looked the same, like brother and sister. He seems to have a similarly shaped face and the same coloured eyes. So there is a possibility …’

  ‘That Kolya is James?’ Minette’s eyes are sparkling.

  How can Amira tell her that they are both monsters?

  ‘But he is two years older than me and I remember being separated from my birth brother so I really don’t see how …’

  ‘But if your Father lied to you about being your biological …’

  ‘Exactly. It’s possible that he lied about our ages.’

  A tear falls from Minette’s eye, and her smile holds an infinite hopefulness that Amira realises she has seen before, on Kolya’s face.

  ‘But why would you think that I wouldn’t love you?’ she asks.

  Jack nods at Amira to encourage her to speak or to force the words out, she can’t tell which.

  ‘I’ve killed people.’

  Their jaws drop and there is a stark silence in the room. All Amira can hear is breath, and the lack of it.

  Jack shifts in his seat. Scratching his jaw.

  Minette grimaces, she looks crushed. ‘What? You’ve killed people?’ she repeats in shock.

  ‘Kolya has too.’

  Minette is speechless. She goes very pale and sits down.

  There, Amira has done it and as far as she is concerned there is no turning back.

  ‘We were raised to be Authenticity Warriors,’ she continues. ‘From the very first moment we were told that we had to serve the people, that it was our job to prevent the spread of infection.’

  ‘You mean David is a terrorist?’ Minette asks in utter confusion.

  ‘That’s such a harsh word,’ Amira replies.

  ‘But damned accurate,’ says Jack.

  ‘We thought of ourselves as freedom fighters. I suspect that’s why my father stole me.’

  Minette covers her mouth with a palm.

  ‘So your adoptive mum, Edith, she is a terrorist, too?’ Jack asks with an air of disgust.

  ‘An Authenticity Warrior,’ Amira replies.

  ‘An Authenticity Warrior?’ Minette says faintly. ‘From the Authenticity Movement?’

  Amira nods.

  Minette puts he
r elbows on her knees and clutches her head in her hands. She sits like this for some seconds. When she finally speaks it is in a broken voice.

  ‘My two children being forced to kill people?’

  Amira plunges her hands into the pockets of her jeans. ‘We weren’t exactly forced,’ she says. ‘It was expected. Like cleaning our rooms, or helping wash the dishes. If we didn’t do what was asked, we’d be punished. Long-term disobedience would mean we were inAuthentic. After a while, the sense of responsibility seeps into who you are. The difficulty is knowing how to become someone else.’

  Jack offers a restrained smile. ‘You serious?’

  Amira meets Jack’s gaze.

  Minette looks up. ‘Who have you killed?’

  ‘Do you really want to know?’

  ‘Yes, I want to know,’ Minette mutters.

  ‘Recently?’ Amira asks. She doesn’t want to speak their names. Names that have belonged to someone, once.

  ‘Unbelievable,’ Jack says, his face burning red.

  ‘Recently I have killed Jonas Baumann,’ Amira suddenly splutters. ‘Kolya has been behind the billionaire murders in America and possibly Canada. I have also killed others.’

  Minette gives her an agonised look. ‘How many people?’ she asks, her voice no more than a whisper.

  Amira hesitates, glancing across at Jack. He’s breathing heavily through his nose. ‘Maybe two–three people,’ she says. The numbers two and three, they are small numbers, aren’t they? Among the first numbers a child learns. A person can count them on one hand.

  ‘Maybe two–three people?’ Jack scoffs. ‘Well, which is it?’

  ‘Three,’ Amira replies softly.

  ‘You and this Kolya are behind the billionaire killings?’ Jack asks, incredulous.

  ‘You and James,’ Minette says.

  Amira draws another long breath before answering. Her head is spinning so fast, it is like the room is moving. ‘Yes, we are behind it. But Kolya may not be James.’

  Minette’s fingers tremor. She wants to grab hold of them to stop them, but she doesn’t.

  ‘How would you be punished for noncompliance?’ Minette asks.

  ‘Father has killed one of my adoptive brothers, Randy, because he was led astray. Father ordered Kolya to kill him.’

  ‘It just keeps on coming,’ Jack says. His face is now a sweltering red. In contrast, Minette’s face is papery white.

  Amira tries to ignore him and keep herself under control. She looks into her mother’s eyes. ‘I know now what I did was wrong,’ she says. ‘I don’t want to do it anymore. That’s why Father is trying to destroy me; that’s why he may even come after you.’

  Minette’s entire body is trembling. ‘And Kolya? James?’ she asks.

  ‘Kolya is a good boy. Father won’t go after him. Kolya will keep going with the mission until Father says not to.’

  ‘This Kolya is still killing?’ Minette says weakly.

  She nods.

  ‘I want to see him. I need to see him,’ Minette says, firmer now. She suddenly stands upright again. ‘I’ll know if I just see him.’

  ‘It won’t work,’ Amira says. ‘I’ve tried to see Kolya. It will be impossible to find him; he’s too good. He doesn’t want to know who his birth mother is. He isn’t like … he’s not like …’

  ‘You,’ Jack supplies.

  ‘No. He’s not like me,’ she repeats dumbly. ‘Kolya has always been the best of us. Authenticity and the Movement are his passion.’

  Minette begins pacing the room.

  ‘Father sent someone to kill me in Cologne,’ Amira goes on. ‘He set fire to my apartment. He knows I want out.’

  Minette looks at her alarmed. She tells them about her suspicions that Father is also behind the downfall of Citibank in the US.

  Minette sits down again, chewing on her bottom lip. ‘This is all a bit … overwhelming.’

  ‘That’s all you can say?’ Jack asks. ‘She’s a terrorist, Mini. She might be your daughter but look at what she’s done. And remember, we don’t know for sure yet if she is your daughter.’

  ‘Jack, please,’ Minette says.

  He glares at Amira.

  ‘It’s true that we don’t know for sure if I am your daughter,’ she replies. ‘But it doesn’t really matter right now. Henry knows that I’d come for you, so you are at risk because of that.’

  ‘All this time,’ Minette stumbles with her words. ‘All these years. I imagined the worst, of course. That the person who stole you and James, killed you both, raped you, starved you. I imagined them locking you up for years. I read stories about such children. But my children were being trained to be murderers?’

  In her eyes Amira can see a battered world; in her fallen face, she can clearly see her own.

  ‘We’d better go to the police,’ Jack says, folding his arms. ‘You have to tell them everything.’

  Amira’s breathing is rapid and her lips are quivering. She’s wishing Lukas was there to hold her. Even after his betrayal. It’s crazy.

  Minette’s eyes don’t drop from Amira’s. ‘The victims’ families need to know what happened to their loved ones and why. You can’t keep them in the dark, Sofie. It eats away at you and there is nothing worse.’

  She still thinks of Amira as her Sofie.

  ‘I’ve been in a prison all my life,’ Amira says. She’d rather be dead than go into another one and Kolya will be the same, but she doesn’t want to tell this to her mother.

  Amira’s mobile beeps then and, when she reads the message, blood runs quick in her veins.

  ‘What is it?’ Minette asks. ‘It’s Father. He wants me to call him at a certain number or he’ll kill you.’

  ‘Over my dead body,’ Jack says, not realising what he was saying.

  Minette stands up and nods at Amira’s mobile. ‘Show me.’

  Amira shows her the message.

  ‘David is afraid you’ll go to the police,’ Minette says. ‘You have bargaining power over him. He is in the weaker position. He has to let us speak to Kolya.’

  ‘No. We’re going to the police,’ Jack says.

  ‘We have to get out of here,’ Amira replies.

  Jack gives Amira a cold stare. ‘You let us drink tea and munch biscuits.’

  ‘Pack a few things,’ Amira says. ‘Bare essentials. Your ID, credit cards, cash, mobiles. Sofie’s and James’s birth certificates if we have to go to the police.’

  Minette takes Jack’s hand and herds him towards the bedrooms.

  ‘You get the birth certificates down for me,’ she says. ‘I can’t reach where you’ve put them in the wardrobe.’

  Amira remains in the living room, ill at the thought of talking to Father. But she has to convince him out of this insanity and find out if Kolya really is her twin. She quickly dials the number and presses the phone to her ear. The phone rings and then there is a click, followed by a prolonged silence.

  ‘Father,’ she says.

  ‘Amira. Come home. Now,’ he says sharply.

  ‘You don’t want me as a daughter anymore; why would I come home?’ she replies.

  ‘After all I’ve done for you? How can you be so ungrateful? You have always caused trouble and been more work than anyone else.’

  Amira blinks back the tears. ‘Your world, your way of thinking – it isn’t all there is. There are better ways.’

  ‘You’re infected, Amira.’

  ‘You stole Minette’s children.’ Amira pauses to catch breath.

  ‘Why did you never tell me you were my birth father?’

  There is a deep silence on the other end of the line.

  ‘Are all my brothers adopted?’ she asks.

  Again, no answer.

  ‘Or did you steal them from their parents, too, Dad? Who did you sleep with to have Randy?’

  ‘Randy was adopted through the proper channels. I will not argue with you over the phone. Come home immediately.’

  ‘You turned us into killers. For your delus
ional fantasies. We loved you. You were our father.’ It’s taking all her strength to hold herself together and not break down. ‘I want to see Kolya.’

  Father laughs mockingly. ‘He wants you gone just as much as I do.’

  ‘I don’t believe you.’

  ‘I’ve had enough of this nonsense. You go to the police and we will kill your mother. I’ll send Kolya to kill her. And if you think …’

  ‘Who is Kolya?’ she asks.

  ‘You know who he is.’

  ‘He’s my twin brother?’

  ‘He wants you to come home immediately to sort yourself out.’

  ‘Is he my twin?’ she demands.

  ‘Yes. So come home.’

  ‘But I remember being separated from my birth brother.’

  Father sighs heavily. ‘He went to Selena first. She wanted a son. But she had problems with Kolya. He was a difficult toddler.’

  Amira presses the disconnect button. How dare he! How dare he think that Kolya and she are puppets that he can …

  And how much does Mother know? Has Edith done this to her, too? To Kolya … to her other brothers?

  A painting: light focusing on two toddlers playing in a forest; they are smiling. A man in a dark cloak behind the boy, a woman with frizzy hair at the heels of the girl.

  Minette is staring fixedly at her; she has entered the room without Amira noticing. She is not sure how much Minette has heard. She parts her lips to speak but then her phone pings with a message. It’s from Mother.

  Mira, I need your help. I have left your father and taken Amelia. I’m terrified. I now know what he’s done to you, to Randy. Please help me. Call me.

  Time seems to slow. This could be a trap but if it isn’t her mother and sister are alone and in danger.

  ‘What is it?’ Minette asks.

  ‘It’s my mother. She’s left Father and she’s afraid.’ Amira picks up the phone and calls Edith. When she answers, Amira can hear her crying. Minette gazes at Amira, clearly distressed.

  ‘Mum, what’s happening?’ Amira asks Edith.

  ‘Mira, I know,’ she stammers. ‘I know. About Randy. About you and Kolya,’ she sobs. ‘Your father, all these years I trusted him, I believed him. I’ve given him my whole life, and now he wants to take it all from me. Mira, he stole you! Do you understand? He had an affair with a non-Member!’